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Life Update

Months ago I took a step back from the blog because I hit a point where I didn’t want to think, talk, or write about sexual abuse.
It happens. Sometimes I need a break, and now I feel good about it.

It’s been seven months since my last post and a lot has happened.
I moved from Austin to Florida, and now back to Austin.
Rob took up pickleball and he’s enjoying it.
I’ve switched from writing books and went back to working on SpeakUp Voicewear.

That decision was hard. I enjoy writing books and had an opportunity to get published with a legit publisher. Something I’ve always wanted.
But, I came to the conclusion that writing kid’s books didn’t feel right and I was forcing it. 
My heart really lies with SpeakUp. It always has.
And, if I really want to make SpeakUp work I have to focus on it, and only it.
I can’t work on two things at once. I tried but felt like I was doing a half-ass job on both.
So I set the books aside for now, but I take comfort in knowing that I could get published in the future. 

I know it’s the right decision, but at the time I was really sad.
I had walked away from a dream of mine and I felt disappointed in myself.
“This is my pattern. I set goals and when I get close to achieving them I walk away,” I kept telling myself.
I felt like a loser and weak since I don’t like giving up on things.

Part of me wanted to pick the books back up just to prove to myself that I can see things through, but again, I knew it wasn’t right and that I was forcing it.

I soon realized that with the books set aside, I had the freedom to just work on SpeakUp. And you know what?
It’s pretty darn refreshing. I have less clutter in my head and feel less scattered. 
All I see and think is SpeakUp.
Every day I wake up and my one mission is getting a little bit closer to getting the brand into the world. Nothing else. Life is simplified.
Focusing on one thing has allowed me to make a lot of progress. And progress, even in the smallest amounts, is super exciting.

Being able to recognize and walk away from something that doesn’t feel right isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength.

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