adult years

Why I Want To Take Down This Blog.

I haven’t felt like blogging much.
I’ve been working on a new project, but that’s not why I’ve been MIA.
I just hit a point where I got tired of blogging about anger, depression, sadness, and hate.
It’s all I wrote about when I started this blog.

At that point in my journey, it was incredibly therapeutic because I was really struggling inside.
Writing and hitting “Post” is what got me through my toughest days.
It was a powerful emotional release.
Write, post and let it go.
That was my healing.

Looking back, it makes me uncomfortable to see how depressed and angry I was.
I want to forget those days. 
Act like they never happened.
But, they did happen.
And this blog is a reminder of my traumatic childhood and the depression I fell into because of it.

For this reason, I was going to take this blog down.
Hit “Delete” and never look back.
But, I couldn’t do it.

This blog, as much as I hate to claim ownership of it at times, has done so much for me.
Without this blog, “Baby J Says NO!” wouldn’t exist.
Neither would the new project I’ve been working on.
This blog has allowed me to heal and grieve while more importantly helping others along the way.

What started as a therapeutic outlet has led me into doing cool creative things that can help people.

So, this blog lives on.
And when I look back at the angry and depressed posts I’ll remind myself of all the good it’s brought.

With that said, the content on this blog is going to evolve as I continue to evolve.
I’m not in the same place I was when I started writing here two years ago.
I’m a lot lighter and happier.
Blogging about anger and depression isn’t as relevant anymore.
It’s time for a change.

This isn’t to say that I’m completely healed.
I still have nightmares of my abusers at night.
Maybe I always will.
Maybe I’ll never be 100% healed.
I don’t know.

What I do know, is that I’m no longer completely blinded by my pain and I’m enjoying life a lot more.
So in addition to sharing my ongoing healing journey, I’ll be sharing more of my daily life.

I’ll tell stories from our travels and talk about what’s most interesting to me at the moment.
I’ll be sharing the details of my newest project (sooo excited).

Sharing all of the things I love because doing the things I love has played a huge part in my healing.
I’m excited to change it up a bit and open up more of my life to you.
This change is a result of my healing and is progress.
This feels good. It feels right.

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