adult years

The Making Of Baby J

Five years ago I started writing a kid’s book.
We were living in Thailand and I created a character named Baby J.
The book was called “Baby J Goes,” and its purpose was to teach kids about different cultures and that travel is fun.
At the time, the whole travel theme didn’t feel right, because deep down I felt that “Baby J” had a bigger message than “travel is fun!”

I didn’t know what the message was, but I knew I wanted “Baby J” to help kids and make an impact.

I put that project aside after a while and began to work on other things.
I started a decorating blog and then a decorating Youtube channel.
I half-assed an event planning business.
I considered getting back into baking for a hot second.

Although I was working on other things, I still couldn’t get Baby J out of my head.
She was stuck with me.
I would mention her to Rob every now and then.
I would picture her in my head daily and all the joy and knowledge that she could bring kids.
But, she was still missing a message.

In 2017, I started this blog.
My purpose was, and still is, to share my healing journey from sexual abuse in hopes of helping others to heal as well.
In doing so, I ended up writing a blog post called, What I Would Have Told My Five-Year-Old Self.”

This post took me back to being five when my grandpa first molested me.
I remembered feeling scared and not knowing what to do or who to turn to for help.
I felt confused and scared about what was going on.

Going back to these memories made me sad and angry.
I remember thinking, “Why didn’t anyone talk to me about sexual abuse.
Why didn’t they teach about it in schools?
Why is it still a hush-hush subject?”

Then it all clicked.
I went from feeling sad to instantly determined to create change.

Soon thereafter I decided to bring Baby J back, only this time with a powerful message.
A message that I have been living with for years but have been too afraid to acknowledge.
A message that is so important that I believe all young kids should hear.
A message I wish I had heard as a young child.

The message is this, “Speak up.”
“Speak up” against sexual abuse.

Having been molested, I know what it feels to live with the disturbing pain of being sexually abused.
The flashbacks.
The nightmares.
Shame and guilt.
I don’t want other kids to have to endure this.

I want kids to know that they have a voice.
They can “Speak up.”
They can get help.
They can say, “NO!”

Which is how a fun travel book called “Baby J Goes!” has now become an empowering children’s book called, “Baby J Says NO!”

Her purpose is to teach kids how to recognize, speak up and say “NO!” to sexual abuse as well as where to turn to for help.

I started writing “Baby J Says NO!” back in July and it’s been a lot of work, but I’m happy to say it’s finally done.

My hope is that it reaches as many kids as possible so they may know that they have the power to  Speak up and say “NO!”

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