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The Letter I Wrote

 The other day I came across a letter that I wrote to myself a year ago.
When I wrote this letter, I felt like I was at my lowest point.
I was at a retreat and had just spent the day crying uncontrollably. I had just verbally acknowledged my messed up childhood in front of a group of people.

After our group session, I was giving an exercise to write myself future self a letter, and this is what wrote…


At the time, I didn’t believe one word of what I was writing.
I didn’t think I would ever feel better.
I thought I would live with pain and sadness forever.
I didn’t think I deserved love or joy in life.
But, I wrote in hopes that one day it would all come true.

Now a year later, I look back and it’s like a different person wrote this letter.
It’s so refreshing to see how far I’ve come because I was truly heartbroken and full of so much anger when I wrote this.
Now I’m not.

It’s crazy how much progress one can make when they do the work.
And by work, I mean really lean into the pain.
Feel it, process it, write it, grieve it, speak it, seek help, and then release it.

I still get sad and angry from time to time, but it’s nothing compared to the way I felt a year ago.
More importantly, it doesn’t control me like it did a year ago.
And for this I am grateful.

 

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