The First Step To Healing From Sexual Abuse
Bury it, carry it and avoid it.
This was how I dealt with the pain of being sexually abused.
I carried this painful burden for 26 years, because I didn’t think there was any other option.
I thought I would live with the pain forever.
I thought I would never be happy.
I thought my life was destined to be one of misery because of what happened to me as a kid.
And whenever I felt the pain, I told myself, “just live with it.”
Then I got to the point where I didn’t want to “just live with it” anymore.
I wanted to heal.
And for me, the first step in healing was acknowledging what happened.
This first step was terrifying.
Looking back, it’s been the hardest part of my healing journey.
For so many years I lived in denial, now I was admitting what happened.
I remember saying it aloud for the first time and then breaking down uncontrollably.
After my break down, I felt like a huge burden had been lifted.
But, simply acknowledging what happened didn’t fix things.
It didn’t make the pain go away.
But, what it did do is open me up to seeking help and working through the pain.
It made me aware that, “just living with it,” wasn’t working for me anymore.
So, I started to make an effort to heal.
It’s been seven years since I first admitted what happened.
It’s been over one year now that I began devoting my life to healing and helping others heal.
And the journey is just beginning. I’m still healing.
I have good days and bad days.
But, the more I address my pain, the more good days I have.
I cry less.
I don’t feel depressed as much.
I’m happier and I laugh a lot more.
I feel more confident.
My self-worth has started to increase.
These changes happened unexpectedly and genuinely.
It’s scary to think that none of this would have happened had I not taken that first step.
If you have been sexually abused and find yourself struggling with the pain, know that you’re not alone.
I hope that this will encourage you to admit it and tell someone you trust.
You don’t have to “just live with it.”
Take the first step.
Because the healing doesn’t begin until you take the first step towards it.
When and if you do decide to take the first step, please don’t feel like you have to do it alone. The healing journey is emotional and not one that one should do alone.
There is plenty of free help out there and I have linked some resources below.