“I never work out,” she said while scarfing down a medium cheese pizza.
I look down at my salad.
It’s dry leaves and chicken again.
“Yay,” I sarcastically think.
I look back at her with her cutoff jean shorts and pink bodysuit.
“She can’t be more than a size 0, how does she do it?”
I’m all for supporting and loving other women, but I haven’t had a carb in days and right now “Little miss pizza who never works out” is pissing me off.
Here I am doing two a day workouts, counting calories, avoiding carbs, and drinking gallons of water daily.
Constantly busting my butt to be in shape while it comes so naturally and effortlessly to “Little miss pizza.”
I start to feel a bit envious and grumpy.
I remind myself to be nice, it’s not her fault she’s genetically blessed.
She catches me eyeing her pizza, “Do you want a slice?”
“No, I actually want the whole thing,”
But a cold, short “No thanks,” comes out instead.
“I said be nice,” my conscious snaps.
We finish our lunch.
“I’m going to Coldstone if you wanna come with,” she says.
“Of course you are,” I think before declining and informing her that I have an OrangeTheory class to get to.
We part ways.
Walking into Orangetheory, I notice that I’m feeling discouraged and frustrated, as well as a bit disappointed in myself for being cold to “Little miss pizza.”
I drag myself onto the treadmill and start running thinking, “What’s the point, I’ll never be a size 0.”
Then I asked myself, “Why do you want to be a size zero?”
I didn’t have a good answer, other than the fact that being a size 0 has been important to me since I was a teenager.
It was something I thought I had to be in order to be accepted.
I realized that it’s time to let go of the superficial teenage dream,
Because I am not a teeneager anymore.
I am a grown woman who knows that feeling healthy,
Being healthy is more important than the size of my jeans.
Then I started thinking of all the people who can’t work out due to sickness and disabilities, as well as all the people who haven’t eaten in days due to lack of food.
And I instantly felt ungrateful and bratty.
Here I was with a full belly and working legs beneath me, yet I was acting grumpy because I can’t eat junk and be a size 0 like “Little miss pizza.”
It was time to shift my mindset and lose my bad attitude.
Once I did, I had a great workout.
I ran faster and challenged myself to lift heavier weights.
And while doing so two things hit me:
1. My body does a lot for me, and it deserves love and appreciation
2. Acceptance doesn’t come from being a size 0, it starts from within.
In that moment, I chose to accept my body not for what it isn’t or for what it could become.
I chose to accept and love my body for what it is, as is.
A full functioning healthy body,
And I was grateful.
Funny how a little mindshift can change a crappy attitude in an instant.
Are you grateful to and for your body?