I Have Nothing To Write

“I have nothing to write,” I said to Rob.
“What do you mean you have nothing to write,” he replied.

“I have a blog post due tomorrow, and I don’t know what to write. I sat for hours and nothing painful or sad came to mind,” I said.

“Why do you need to write something painful and sad?” he asked.

“Because my blog has always been about my story and the pain and sadness it has caused me,” I replied.

“So, what’s stopping you from writing something painful and sad?” he asked.

“I just don’t have anything painful or sad to write about right now” I replied, wondering where this was going.

“Why is that?” Rob asked.

“I guess because I feel good about life right now,” I said in shock.

 

 **************

Starting this blog eight months ago, I was in such a dark, angry place that I couldn’t write fast enough about it.

Most writing I didn’t share because it was that angry and I thought I might scare people.
It even scared me.

But, for the past two weeks, I have been feeling my anger loosening its grip on me.
And I have been reaching for sad or angry things to write about.
Because that’s what my blog has been about.
My story, the pain, the anger.

Truth be told, I am not as angry as I was eight months ago.

Am I always super happy and cheerful?
No.
But, the pain and the anger doesn’t consume me as much as it did.

And this doesn’t mean that I will be lacking on content.
It means that I will be sharing the GOOD and the BAD.
Because at times, my life is pretty great.

Yes, I have a past that I struggle with, but the past doesn’t own me as much as it did.
When I started this blog, my intention was to post what I feel in the moment.
And in this moment, I feel happy.

*P.S. Writing that last sentence literally brought me to tears because it is a sentence I never thought I would write.

-To loving and believing in yourself and being HAPPY.
jack

 

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