“I have nothing to write,” I said to Rob.
“What do you mean you have nothing to write,” he replied.
“I have a blog post due tomorrow, and I don’t know what to write. I sat for hours and nothing painful or sad came to mind,” I said.
“Why do you need to write something painful and sad?” he asked.
“Because my blog has always been about my story and the pain and sadness it has caused me,” I replied.
“So, what’s stopping you from writing something painful and sad?” he asked.
“I just don’t have anything painful or sad to write about right now” I replied, wondering where this was going.
“Why is that?” Rob asked.
“I guess because I feel good about life right now,” I said in shock.
**************
Starting this blog eight months ago, I was in such a dark, angry place that I couldn’t write fast enough about it.
Most writing I didn’t share because it was that angry and I thought I might scare people.
It even scared me.
But, for the past two weeks, I have been feeling my anger loosening its grip on me.
And I have been reaching for sad or angry things to write about.
Because that’s what my blog has been about.
My story, the pain, the anger.
Truth be told, I am not as angry as I was eight months ago.
Am I always super happy and cheerful?
No.
But, the pain and the anger doesn’t consume me as much as it did.
And this doesn’t mean that I will be lacking on content.
It means that I will be sharing the GOOD and the BAD.
Because at times, my life is pretty great.
Yes, I have a past that I struggle with, but the past doesn’t own me as much as it did.
When I started this blog, my intention was to post what I feel in the moment.
And in this moment, I feel happy.
*P.S. Writing that last sentence literally brought me to tears because it is a sentence I never thought I would write.
-To loving and believing in yourself and being HAPPY.
jack
