On Not Being Present.

Rob is now creating regularly scheduled, tech-free time in his life.
He will go through these “Blackout Blocks” where he goes with,
No phone.
No technology.

He has encouraged me to join him.
I thought his invitation was silly and brushed it off.
“I’m rarely on my phone,” I said.
“You’re on it more than you think,” he replied.

One night we went out to dinner to this little place by our house, River and Wood, and we both left our phones at home.
“No big deal,” I thought.

I left my phone behind on the kitchen counter before heading out the front door.

We got to River and Wood and were seated.
And the first thing I did was subconsciously reach into my purse for my phone.
Only to be harshly reminded that it wasn’t there.

I felt unsettled.
“I need my phone,” I thought.
I kept wondering, “Who texted me? Who called? Who’s posting on Instagram?”
Rob was fine.
But I was panicking.

Up until now, I have always had dinner with a fork in one hand and my phone in the other.

I must have reached for my phone 15 times that night.
And everytime I did was a reminder of how dependent I am on it.
I felt internally embarrassed.
“How did I, a grown woman, become so dependent on a little piece of technology?”

Then I realized that Rob had been trying to have a real conversation with me all night.
I was simply too preoccupied over not having my phone.

Then I shifted gears.
I pushed my phone out of my mind.
I became present and fully in the moment.

And guess what?

Rob and I had an amazing conversation.
We laughed, we joked and we talked about future plans and goals.
I was no longer missing, nor did I need my phone.

I was connecting with my best friend.
My love.
No distractions.
Just us.

Now, whenever we have dinner, I consciously place my phone aside.
Or try to.
It’s still not easy.
But it’s definitely worth it.

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1 Comment

  1. Phil and I started doing the dinner no phone zone for a while. Yes, sometimes it is extremely aggravating as the kids would freak and think something happened to us if we didn’t answer.
    But, laughing and enjoying the company of just each other is so rewarding. We just celebrated 23

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