adult years

Victim Blaming

Last week, I wrote “February 13th.”
This upset a family member.

They asked me to stop writing.
They blamed me for the past.

This isn’t the first time.
But, this time hurt the most.

I thought enough time had passed.
I thought they reached out to support me.
Instead, they reached out to blame me.

I was sad.
I am still a little sad.

Being accused of lying by your own family.
Your family is supposed to love you.
And support you.
Believe you.
It’s hard and heartbreaking.

I had to stop the conversation.
Her words were full of hate and anger.
And she wasn’t stopping.

And as hard as it was, I blocked her.
From everything.
I had to.
I couldn’t let that anger and negativity back in my life.

So many thoughts ran through my head afterwards:

“What am I doing?”
“Why did I speak up?”
“Maybe I should stop, brush it under the rug. Like I always have.”
“Maybe I am causing the trouble.”
“It would have been easier to keep quiet.”

I started to blame myself.

I felt so deflated.

I wanted to give up.
Never write again.

Then Rob picked me up.
He reminded me of the strength I have inside, to keep going.
I am so grateful to have him.

My message is simple.

For those of you that have been victim blamed.
Know that it’s not your fault.
It’s not your fault.

Surround yourself with people who will lift you up.
And support your healing.
And cut out everyone that is trying to bring you down.

And as sad as that conversation was, I’m grateful for it.
It was closure I needed to fully move on.

1 Comment

  1. Tell whichever family member this is to fuck off and take a walk.

    I know that sounds harsh, but quite frankly, not all family members DESERVE to be in your life forever. In fact, some of them are just turds.

    You’re a kickass person, Jack — keep doing your thing, it’s been so encouraging to watch!

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