adult years

Weight Scales and Gummy Bears

Every New Year I have the same resolution.

Like many, it’s to lose weight.

To be honest, it’s more of a daily goal.

Every morning, I look in the mirror and my first thought is,

“I need to lose weight.”

I’ve been telling myself this every morning since I was 13.

Living with this, “I’ve got to lose weight, I’ve got to lose weight” mindset for 20 years is exhausting.

Regardless of how exhausting it’s been, I can’t seem to break this mindset.

On New Year’s Day I declared to lose weight. Again.

I even bought a scale from Target to track my progress.

And of course they were strategically placed at the door when you walk in.

You can’t miss them.

And the display was nearly sold out.

Target is smart.

Once home with my scale, it was diet time.

NO carb, NO sugar, NO dairy, NO gluten, NO wine, NO meat diet.

I did okay the first day.

The second day I got hangry.

The third day I was scarfing down gummy bears.

And this is my pattern.

I go strict, all-or-nothing for a couple days and then fall off the wagon.

And then I’ll get back on for a few days, before eventually inhaling a pizza.

And I hate myself for it.

After my gummy bear binge, I realized that my diet standards are unrealistic.

It’s designed to make me fail.

And feel fat.

While my intentions are good, I’m trying to make drastic changes overnight.

Ultimately setting myself up for failure.

This all-or-nothing, yo-yo dieting has to stop.

Stressing over carbs has to stop.

I’ll no longer start my day body shaming myself in the mirror.

It’s not healthy, it’s not self-love and it only hurts me.

Truthfully, my target weight isn’t even healthy for me.

What if I shifted my health goals for 2018?

What if I shifted my focus to feeling healthy?

To be more aware of what I put in my body.

And to actually give myself credit when I make healthy choices.

A little self love.

And most importantly, not hating myself when I have a gummy bear.

Even more self love.

How can you show yourself more love today?

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